Why Is My Trainer Having Me Do This?

When you are working with a trainer, know that we have both big and small picture goals running through our mind at all times. Sometimes in a jovial way, my longterm clients will say “whyyyy are we doing this weird wonky adductor (inner thigh) activation?!” I figured it may be helpful to fill you in on the “why” behind exercise selection.

Your sessions and programs have been chosen while carefully considering all the following:

1. Your comfort level. Despite the narrative that says “get uncomfortable” - you do, in fact, need to be comfortable. What that means is you need to feel a connectivity in your body, a softness in your joints, an activation of the right muscles and to feel SAFE. So, yes you can do hard things that are uncomfortable because they are challenging, but you should never feel vulnerable to injury or in any position that sets off your nervous system. You should feel safe, strong, capable, and comfortable with your trainer.

2. Functionality. We want you to be able to move well in your life without risking injury. We’ve seen many clients start with us after their previous injuries, and have heard about how the injuries have compromised their quality of life and held them back from things they love. Injuries are not worth it. Moving with strength and ease is important, so, functional movement patterns will always be prioritized in your personal training sessions. Plus, no matter what age you are when you train, we want to make sure you never get stuck on a toilet and unable to get off by yourself :)

3. Your goals! If your goals are to have a stronger, perkier butt, be aware that you may have to do some smaller glute muscle activations, deep core activations and mind body exercises ON TOP OF the larger glute players in order to fulfill your goals. You can’t just squat and lunge all day. Move in different planes, get the small and the large muscles working together, and you will have the best glutes ever. That’s a promise!

4. Your overall health. This means your cardiorespiratory system, your hormonal health, your vestibular health, your mental health — if we know of tweaks here and there that are going to improve these components, we’re going to include them. When it comes to benefitting your body and health, we want it all. Understanding interconnectivity is vital, and remains an integral thread to our approach.

Do not ever be afraid to ask your trainer why a certain exercise has been programmed, whether it’s in your self-led program or within your actual sessions. Your trainer should have several good reasons why a certain exercise has been selected. So much more goes into session structuring than many understand. We bring your health history, goals, specific biomechanics, emotional well-being and bang-for-buck into consideration at every meeting. We want you to get your results quickly, but without missing a beat. Without skipping over the important stuff.

We balance how you feel, with how you look (to yourself), with how you perform.

For professionals, it’s complex and simple at the same time. We are meticulous, and yet direct.

For you, you should feel clear about your body, your strength and your progress. Always, always ask.

Some Words on Fat Loss

Fat loss is a goal for many, yet something people are feeling ashamed to talk about these days.  In the interest of self-love and body positivity, it is in many circles considered taboo to discuss wanting to lose weight or lose fat. 

But you can simultaneously want to change your body, while accepting your body.  

After all, bodies change anyway. They are always changing. It’s whether or not we want to get behind the wheel and steer that change in a certain direction that is the question.  And when we do, let’s unpack WHY we may want it steered in the fat loss or weight loss direction:

Most people when asked why they want to lose weight will answer “to look better and feel better.”  Both of these things are outcomes of fat loss, when there is excess fat to lose.  But my question about the look better part is “look better for WHO?”

If the answer is for you, because when you like what you see for yourself you will feel better aligned, more aesthetically pleased and more confident… those are all fair reasons.  If the answer is for anything or anyone external, the problem with that is it could feel pressurized which often times ends up feeling terrible in the process.  And, for a process to be sustainable, it should not feel terrible. It should feel progressive and supportive.

Losing weight to feel better is always valid.  If there is excess fat to lose and one wants to lose it, it can result in more energy, a brighter mood, balanced hormones — and a very important one — ease of movement. Because when it is difficult to move around and perform activities such as looking after children, playing sports, or even just walking, that becomes a big and negative distraction that often results in extra stress.  Even if it’s subconscious.

{I would like to be clear that even if you have excess fat to lose, it does not mean you have to want to lose it.  All sizes and percentages of body fat can have a bursting-with-happiness, fulfilled life.  It is simply if you are feeling held back either by confidence, a feeling of incongruence in your physical vessel or by that of comfort / health concerns.}

If you are decided that you would like to lose some excess fat because you are lacking confidence, uncomfortable and in pain, or just not feeling quite like yourself and at your best, you can start here.

1. When you put your meals together, choose your protein and produce first. Then add healthy fats. Finally, add healthy starches when you feel you need them. (If you have trouble knowing what foods belong in what categories, stay tuned because I’ll be composing a guide to help you.)

2. Move more.  Both leisurely activity and higher heart rate activity count.  Just add MORE. It can be 5, 10, 15 minutes at a time.  Week by week, make sure you are moving your body around more than before.

3. Commit to exercise like you commit to brushing your teeth.  You can’t just skip several days and get all clogged up.  Maintenance is part of the life program.  Accepting that will make the lifestyle changes a lot easier.

4. Strength training. It’s probably the most bang for buck thing to add in for fat loss. Building lean muscle tissue improves your health in every single way, makes you want to move even more, makes you want to eat better, helps you sleep better, supports your hormones… It’s the best thing you can do for your life.

5. Stay hydrated. Start your day with two glasses of water to replenish thirsty cells, and keep them flushed with water throughout the day. Half your bodyweight (lbs) in ounces every day is a good guideline.

Although I’ve tried to simplify this approach, I understand implementation can be complicated.  I excel at helping clients fit these factors into their specific lifestyles and at working through the obstacles that can pop up. 

I want you well. Reach out if you ever need the help.

Feeling Anger While Working Out?

Let’s unpack this. An introspective client (a psychologist even) presented to me that she feels rage sometimes while exercising.

Anger or rage tend to come from one of two places, if not both combined: overwhelm and frustration. A lack of mobility, discomfort in the joints, fatigue, all of these things can provide an overall feeling of rust. What I mean is, it feels like added resistance. A topical extra resistance to something that is already something to push through.

It makes you feel, in a roundabout way, that the world is pushing back on you while you’re trying to move forward.

I wanted to touch on this because it can be a very common feeling at the beginning of your work with a trainer, at the beginning of your journey with exercise OR, if you have not tapped into the consistency that can help to wash that feeling away. It can be very normal, and acceptance is a key part of getting through it.

Obviously, quitting and never exercising is not the answer. You need to find a way through the rust.

1. Manage your overwhelm. If your fitness is contributing to an overall sense of overwhelm, simplify your approach. Adjust your program accordingly so that your exercise feels like a stress-busting release, not another daunting chore.

2. Likely the specific exercises you are doing need to be modified toward ones that help you experience self care. Maybe the exercises have more of a wrapping, tightening feeling than a heavy load. Often times gentle cardio boosts work well for these psychological instances as well - and core. Always core. Feeling energy generating from the core puts us in our power.

3. Your nutrition. Sometimes when we feel extra push-back and like we’re hitting a wall, we’re not eating in a way that makes movement feel nice. If your nutrition is heavily inflammatory, your body can feel like cement in your training. Lots of water, whole foods and balanced blood sugar makes a big difference for your chemistry — for lightening your mood and energy.

4. Name the feeling. If you feel rage or anger when you’re doing something that feels hard, just say it (it can be in your head). The simple awareness of it will help you to address it and make the necessary adjustments to turn a negative experience into a progressive one.

5. Consistency. If you feel rusty one day, adjust and move through it. The next day, come back and do something again (something maybe a bit different). Show up again. And again, and again. By day 3 or 4 you’ll feel like you’re smooth sailing in exercise, and likely grateful you pushed through.

I’m going to save what is probably the most important point for last: how you feel about your body shows up in your workouts, and it’s important to work on reframing your body image while you exercise. Sometimes people let negative self-image talk filter into their minds while they are exercising. You have to make a choice to catch this when it happens, and blow it away like you’re blowing a dandelion. You have to decide you are not going to permit negative thoughts about yourself while you exercise (or ideally ever!). Even if you have to force it at first, tell yourself how strong, how capable and how energized you are. How happy your cells are to be exercising. A negative mindset leads to discouragement that acts like a thick, brick wall against you and your health. BREAK THE WALL with encouragement and self support. Work with your body, to break through the rust.

A Better Way to Resolve

It’s resolution season. Whether you make them this time of year, throughout the year or not at all, there is something to be said for making CHANGE. And there is a better way to do it.

The name of my company was / is (I haven’t fully ditched it, despite using my own name more dominantly) The Change Training. Because I believe that change is the only constant, it happens no matter what, and it’s best to get behind the wheel and learn how to steer your change. I want to write about the most important part of steering your change.

Typically, when people want change it comes from a negative place. Feeling groggy or heavy perhaps, maybe feeling overfat. Maybe it’s simply being too self-critical, or feeling low in confidence. A lack of strength. Either way, getting healthier does help all of these things, but I don’t believe reflecting on the negative feelings and / or habits is the best way to go about it.

It is the season of “no more bread!” or “no more booze!” or “no more sugar!”

So here’s the thing. There is NO SHAME in wanting to feel better. You have every right to acknowledge that you’re feeling uncomfortable, and to want to make the most of your time in this life. The self-love movement has gotten to a place where we sometimes feel like we can’t so much as mention fat loss or physical motivations. But how you feel in your body affects how you feel in your life, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being honest with yourself about that. You have the right to feel better. To feel more comfortable, stronger and better aligned. Health resolutions are great. Of course they are! Because getting stronger and healthier can have the biggest return on investment you will ever experience in this life.

You do NOT have to get there by dwelling on your habits that got you feeling uncomfortable in the first place. You do not have to list off all of the things that you’ve been overdoing (overeating, overdrinking, overlazy-ing- whatever they may be) in order to make change. You certainly don’t have to say anything negative about yourself in the process. In fact, I prefer you wouldn’t. Real self love is being honest, and then looking at opportunity to be feel your best.

Fill up your time and your headspace on listing off the feelings that you want to move into. A stronger core, better posture, a clearer mind, and importantly - higher confidence. List off the benefits that getting healthier will bring to your life.

If you spend more time focusing on what you’re cutting out, and feeling badly about past behaviour, it won’t leave you the energy and the brainspace to keep all the wonderful reasons for getting healthier to strongly move you forward toward it.

This year, why don’t you try the following:

Write a very honest list about all the positive outcomes you will experience from getting healthier.

Ditch the list about what to ditch, there won’t even be room to worry about it and to add that ounce of discouragement to soil up your path. (Discouragement is the number one thing that will slow you down - I’ve seen this thousands of times in my work.)

Write down everything you are about to gain.

• a clearer head, more energy

• fresh, clear skin

• the confidence and self belief to go after more

• more supple joints, more mobile days

• more happiness, purely

• the strength to squat down with and lift up your child

• the energy to partake in more recreational activities outdoors

• the peace of mind of warding off illness

• the peace of mind of warding off debilitating injury

• compassion and spreading more positivity (for real, it does this well!)

• setting a wonderful example for those around you

• fitting better in all of your clothes - yes, you’re allowed to be excited about that!

There is nothing more exciting than this kind of change. These kinds of outcomes. I’m sure you can add dozens of things specific to you to this list.

You only live once, as far as we know. You deserve to get the very most out of this life. Stop feeling badly, stop being hard on yourself. There’s no need to cut so much out when you are adding so much good stuff in - it will sidle out that which no longer serves you much more efficiently than your feeling badly about it.

Happy 2021, I wish you the very, very best for this upcoming year.

I think we are going to see some big surges in creativity, in resilience, in quality of time among our communities after such a hard 2020. I love you.

My Relationship with my Fitness at 6 Months Postpartum

Well, this is a bit of a complicated one.

In the interest of being completely honest, my comfort level with fitness and my body has been a bit staggered. I can feel attempted surges and drops. I’ve been working hard at keeping the teeter totter in the middle - not being too disappointed in how things feel or where I’m at, while I’m also not having the satisfying hard blasts of workouts I used to, either.

My endorphins don’t rush the way they used to after a workout. Mostly, the work is hard as I try to get my left side keeping up with my right. It’s hard work to put my shoulders where they’re supposed to go, as they’re so rounded carrying 19.5-pound Hugo for several hours a day. It’s hard work focusing on my pelvic floor and prolapse, breathing well and accepting a more limited range of motion in most movements. I fatigue faster, because of the lack of sleep and extra ten pounds. And when the workout is finished, I feel somewhat satisfied. Not on top of the world, as I used to.

So, I am at six months. I will say I’ve done very well at making consistent efforts to move. Not moving is not an option for me. I do make fitness a priority at least 5-6 days a week, because it’s part of my identity. It’s one of the things that makes me the happiest - this focus and this work. My mental health already declines after too many days off in a row (for example, I can feel a drop in mood and an increase in needless anxiety after even 3 days of no movement).

Now. I talk a lot about how fitness and great nutrition make people feel. I don’t talk very much about fat loss, or changing aesthetics, except for privately with clients when it is important to them. I do this for a reason: first of all, changing aesthetics is not a goal for everyone, and I think it can be damaging for fitness teachers to assume that it is. Most people want to change how they feel, but wanting to change how you look before wanting to change how you feel can be risky for some. I’ll elaborate: The way we see ourselves has been manipulated, based on absorbing a lot of unrealistic images such as airbrushing and filters. So, self-esteem is already fragile in this comparison game. When I talk about goals, I focus on the outcome of feel and health, because your appearance will change. It’s a given. You will be stronger, glowier, and likely carrying a different body shape. Just as during an exercise that is quad-dominant, I may ask you to think instead about your glutes and core so that your hips find the right position. You’ll feel your quads no matter what, no need to think about them! So, no need to discuss aesthetic change often, and further the discord many people already have with their looks.We need to control where the brain goes for optimal health.

I will admit that adjusting to my different appearance has felt more difficult on some days. My face is rounder, my arms are bigger (not with muscle!) with the 8-10lbs I’m still carrying after baby. Honestly, I don’t care about the number on the scale. But sometimes, you can feel less like yourself when your appearance shifts and then stays shifted for a while. I’m working on this. Sometimes, because I too am prone to society’s pressures (I’m human, and the pressures are long-standing and aggressive), I have to resort to how I may coach a client. —> “It’s okay to feel like you want to change. It’s okay to want to feel better. You must, however, self-motivate from a positive space. Do not speak negatively to or about yourself. Be aware of how you may feel when your habits change, when your strength improves, and look forward to how that improvement feels.”

My relationship with fitness at the moment can be summed up by feeling grateful for every amount of movement I get in. Some days it is a 12 minute run. Some days I spin, never longer than 20 minutes. Some days (the best days) I get 30 minutes of heart-pumping, body-shaping and strength-boosting resistance training in. Some days I do 25 minutes of pilates during one of Hugo’s naps. The variety is beautiful and invigorating. No matter how little sleep I’ve had, I feel better after moving my blood around and shifting my focus into progress in my physical body. Every little extra bit of strength I gain, the better I feel about how my appearance has shifted.

The fat loss, in this last window of it, may be slow. I won’t restrict my food, I eat well and my body needs more grub to get through these sleep deprived days and to keep my milk supply up to feed my child. My brain needs frequent meals to function!

Being earnest with ourselves about how we feel stuck in the middle of both the body love movement and society’s incessant pressures is smart. From awareness, we gain power and control. It is the first step in respecting yourself. There’s no shame in recognizing the pull of both, and working on where you are today and where you’d like to be.

I respect my body. I accept where it is. I value everything it is able to do, and I enjoy the process of gaining more abilities. I am not perfect when it comes to a positive body image, as I do want to look better to feel better, as well as feel better to look better.

Ultimately, the main project is to become comfortable in the “try”. We are forever trying to do and be better, that’s what life is. Whether it be to be more socially conscious, more kind, to learn more… to be stronger. And to be kinder to ourselves.

It’s all forever a process.